Thursday, June 21, 2007

La haine

I hate that all hope that I have for a better situation in the world, politically, socially, economically, environmentally, religiously, and on and on to infinity, rests in a group of people who are absolute fucking idiots and with whom I seem to be incapable of teaming up.

I hate that I did not go through with joining the absolute fucking idiots. I bailed about a week before Easter because Danica thinks they're The Borg. I hate that I am not part of The Borg.

I hate that at first I wanted to join the absolute fucking idiots because I thought doing so would solve all of my problems. I hated them when I realized that being a part of The Borg creates new problems while recreating the old problems in new ways. I hate that my desire to join their team has not wavered a bit through all of this.

I hate when people say that God told them to do something and I don't have a fucking clue what they're talking about. Once my dad confessed to my mom that God had never spoken to him. I respect my dad more for that confession than for anything else, and I respect my dad a great deal.

I hate that God has never spoken to me.

I hate that God supposedly speaks to folks and yet we're still clueless as to what we should be doing. Has no one thought to ask? Is He giving mixed messages?

I hate that I am incapable of atheism. It would be so much easier.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Athesim isn't easier, you just decide that you are alone. completely. It's not easy, just empty.

Scott Savage said...

Nice to see you blogging again :) Atheism is impractical anyways. Now Agnosticism, that's where the money is.

Peace,
Scott

Matthew said...

I don't think I could leave things at agnosticism. You ever have a class discussion where no one will take a side? Boooooring.

Scott Savage said...

True. I guess I was thinking more about the genuineness of those agnostics I have heard about or come across. I often find honest doubt more appealing than ignorant disbelief.

Matthew said...

I can't help but think of everything in political terms. All of these stances (as espoused politically) have led to some extreme forms of violence. And all have led to some great good being done. Unpopular as this position may be, I find that belief has caused less violence than a politic claiming agnosticism, and possibly less than disbelief. Since we can't prove that one stance reigns supreme (I myself am much more convinced by argument in favor of disbelief than those in favor of belief, nevertheless I believe), asking which one is the healthiest seems like a good question to ask.

Why is atheism impractical?